by Emily Robinson, DNP, ARNP (she/they)

The holiday season is often presented as a time of joy and connection, yet it can also bring a complex mix of emotions. The holidays can amplify feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and stress. Understanding the sources of your stress and setting clear boundaries can help you navigate this challenging time while honoring your emotional needs. Your primary care team at Kinwell can help you navigate holidays. Virtual care appointments are available from the comfort of your home.

Identifying the sources of holiday stress

To effectively manage holiday stress, it’s helpful to identify some likely causes. Here are some common stressors that many face during this season:

  1. Financial Pressures: The expectation to spend on gifts, decorations, and holiday meals can lead to significant financial strain. According to the Mayo Clinic, these financial burdens can create feelings of guilt and anxiety, especially if your budget is tight.
  2. Unrealistic Expectations: The media portrays the holidays as a time of perfect gatherings and joyous celebrations, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy when reality doesn’t match up.
  3. Family Dynamics: The holidays can magnify family tensions and unresolved conflicts. Complex relationships may become more pronounced, and navigating these dynamics can be emotionally taxing.
  4. Grief and Loss: For many, the holiday season can highlight feelings of grief due to the absence of loved ones.
  5. Overcommitment: The influx of invitations and social obligations can lead to burnout. Feeling compelled to attend every gathering can detract from your enjoyment of the season.

Acknowledging grief

For many, the holidays can intensify feelings of grief. Whether through the loss of a loved one or estrangement from family members, the holiday season can serve as a painful reminder of what is missing. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) acknowledges that grief can manifest in various ways, including sadness, anxiety, and withdrawal. If you find yourself grieving this holiday season, you can reach out to a Kinwell provider to talk about ways to honor and process grief.

Setting and maintaining boundaries

Identifying your personal boundaries is a crucial step in navigating holiday stress. Boundaries help protect your emotional health and ensure you can engage authentically with others. Here are some areas to consider:

  1. Time: Decide how much time you can realistically spend on holiday activities. Ensure you carve out moments for yourself to recharge.
  2. Emotional: Identify situations or interactions that drain you. Understanding these triggers can help you prepare for potentially challenging family gatherings.
  3. Financial: Set a clear budget for gift giving and other holiday expenses to avoid financial stress. Stick to your budget to minimize anxiety.

Recognizing infringements

Understanding what might cause your boundaries to be infringed upon is equally important. These infringements can include the following:

  • Pressure from family or friends: Loved ones may unknowingly push you to attend gatherings or engage in activities that are overwhelming.
  • Guilt and obligation: Feeling guilty about declining invitations can lead you to compromise your own needs, exacerbating stress.
  • Overcommitment: A tendency to say yes to every invitation can dilute the quality of your experiences and lead to burnout.

The importance of saying “no”

One of the most powerful tools in managing holiday stress is the ability to say “no.” While it can feel uncomfortable, especially when disappointing others, it can be a powerful act of self-care and self-preservation. Disappointing others by saying “no” is perfectly okay. When you prioritize your own needs, you create a space that allows you to engage more fully with people and gatherings that align with your values. Here are some tips for saying “no” gracefully:

  • Be direct but kind: A simple “I can’t make it this year, but I hope you have a wonderful time” is often sufficient.
  • Offer alternatives: If you cannot attend a gathering, suggest connecting at another time, which shows your willingness to maintain the relationship.
  • Practice self compassion: Remind yourself that your needs are valid. Saying “no” can lead to healthier interactions and a more fulfilling holiday experience.

Kinwell can help

Navigating holiday stress requires a self-compassionate approach that honors your own emotional needs. By identifying the sources of your stress, acknowledging all the feelings that arise, and setting clear boundaries, you can create a more enjoyable holiday experience. Remember that saying “no” is not only acceptable but necessary for your well-being.As you move through this holiday season, prioritize self-care, engage in activities that bring you joy, and allow yourself to grieve if needed.

 

If you would like to talk further about how to navigate holiday stress, make an appointment at one of Kinwell’s 16 clinics across Washington or through virtual care from anywhere in the state. Kinwell’s behavioral health clinicians offer established patients science-based tactics to handle life’s challenges. Our Coping Skills group appointments are accepting new patients. Learn about available sessions and the costs involved by calling (206) 360-9298.